you say the service have all been done, but do you realise this does not include transmission fluid change ? BMW and other Aisin users say they are filled for life and this IMO is the problem not the gearbox, it sounds like yours is way past help with a fluid change, but if it has been diagnosed as a valve body problem why not just get it changed? they are available, but i wont say where as i dont want the responsibility of telling everyone where incase it turns out not to be the issue or faulty ones are purchased etc, do a search and you will find them, the other alternative is a low mileage 2nd hand unit from the likes of ebay, they can be bought quite cheap, a couple of weeks ago one was on ebay UK with just 600+ miles for about 2000 pounds which is way better than BMW's quote, personally i would buy a valve body and try it, but thats just me and not advice, it's not good what you are going through and i feel for you, but it's not a general Gearbox issue, if it was BMW would do a recall, we have 3 BMW's in my household and 2 have just been recalled for EGR cooler replacement obviously free of charge, as said the issue in my opinion is the filled for life nonsense and it's not just Aisin gearboxes, it's also ZF's, manual gearboxes, differentials and transfer cases etc, usualy by the time there is a major issues the vehicles have changed hands and the warranty is out of date, but many many thousands go onto to do huge miles without apparent issues, if there was a major issues with Aisin, there would be more than a handful talking about it on forums, this does not help you i know and i think from BMW's perspective you are just cannon fodder for their dumb service requirements, to be honest even the engine oil service is twice what it should be, 10,000 miles or once a year is IMO what should happen, i do hope you get your car fixed, it would be good if you can let everyone know how you get on