1. A blonde with two burnt ears went to the doctor, who asked what had happened.
The phone rang, and I accidentally picked up the iron.
What about the other one?
They called back.
2. A squirrel is chillin' in a tree when a cow climbs up and sits next to him.
Whatcha doin' here? asks the squirrel.
I'm here to eat some apples.
But this is a pine tree!
I know. I brought my own apples.
3. Two drunk guys try to pick up some girls. The girls take the drunk guys home, slip blowup dolls into their beds and leave.
The next morning, the one guy tells the other guy, I think my girl was a witch! When I bit her on the tit, she hissed and flew away.